I love to imagine the younger lives of older couples This is definitely a habit I’ve developed in recent years distinct from the common habit of people making up stories for people they see in the street, or appreciating that everyone has a past you don’t know about. In a…

We cry when something is beautiful Tears don’t just have to be about sadness. There are all sorts of metaphors people come up with to explain tears, I won’t go into the scientific ones, this is a short article for reflections about life as I approach the halfway point. Tears…

I like to fantasise about how I’m going to spend money I don’t have. Every now and then, I will read the Saturday supplement magazine from the Financial Times — How to Spend It. A luxury goods publication essentially. I think maybe it’s a bit of a guilty pleasure? Or…

Or rather, the past can change because it’s about meaning not material facts. One of the most common ‘issues’ people see me in therapy about are finding out shocking secrets — infidelity, sexual abuse, undiagnosed neurodivergence. They arrived confused, upset, hurt, angry — a multitude of possible emotions and probably…

Seeing yourself through another’s eyes is how you first learn to see yourself When growing confidence and self-esteem as an adult in recovery from a shitty childhood, the moments of self-discovery and glimpses of self-being-okay seem to come from allowing others’ perspectives of you to get through the clouds of…

What did my body want to do but was unable? — I used to weigh many stones (pounds, kilos) more than I do now. Physical restriction is an inherent side effect of obesity. Bodies are designed to move in myriad ways but mine was blocked from a lot of ways of being because there was too much fat in the way. …

I catch myself chasing a feeling from the past. Wanting to go back to how things were, to a feeling that came from a particular set of circumstances that can’t be recreated because time has passed and those people aren’t involved and no amount of desire or intention or stropping…

When my ‘average 5 people’ change, I change This weekend I spent concentrated time with a different group of people. We worked together, ate together and socialised together, albeit in a restricted environment. Today I was reminded of the Jim Rohn quote “we are the average of the five people…

My stillness is my foundation. It may even be my superpower. I haven’t always been so positive about it. It’s a side effect of my introversion I think. Whilst I love being energetic and active and playful, my natural state is still and quiet. Or maybe a better way of…