It’s unbecoming
I find social relationships challenging. Turns out I’m autistic which explains a lot, doesn’t make things much easier though.
I’m also a psychotherapist. Probably got a dose of ADHD too. Rejection sensitivity? Yup. Difficult upbringing that left me with little sense of self belief? Also yes. Suffice to say I can think! And boy do I. And I’m mad about it.
In my self-discovery I’ve noticed a bad habit of mine. I will allocate people in my life all sorts of horrible motivations, snide thoughts, malevolent intentions. They dislike me. They think I’m a waste of time/too much hard work/boring/too quiet/too loud/confusing/just a lot of bloody effort. And I get mad about it.
Life is so BiZzeEEee for everyone. I’m mad about that too. No one seems to have time for anything anymore. Time for me. And I’m sad about it. Lonely sometimes.
It’s said a lot but I think it bears repeating.
When it feels like it’s about you, it usually isn’t.
A perpetually busy friend hasn’t gotten back to me in our usual timeframe. Life has been happening, I’ve known that, but I also know they know how tough I find things sometimes so the longer we go not communicating the more I miss them which turns into questioning why they’re not contacting me. I quickly turn that into…
