Getting started in kink. Again

Claire
7 min readNov 9, 2023

After jumping in, swimming around and leaving again, I’m taking tentative, mindful steps this time.

I’ve been going to kink and fetish club nights for a couple of years. I’ve done a bit of all that’s on offer while I’ve been there. I’m at the point where it’s familiar and actually, this particular club, is a bit predictable and I daresay boring. I finally admitted the music just isn’t for me and that really puts me off, but I also know the layout, the vibe, what I could get up to (as a single person) and how it impacts me in the present and historically.

I wrote not long ago about the softer side of BDSM being re-traumatising for me. This is the side that I need to tread carefully. I’m learning there’s so much I don’t know in me and around me; while I do want to know it I need to take my time and build knowledge rather than storm right in and do all the things.

Tonight is a step into that.

Kinky meetups

There’s a particular kind of get together called a Munch. I don’t know where that name comes from, perhaps I’ll learn tonight. I do know it’s a relaxed, social affair in a vanilla setting that’s about building social connections with some intention, I suppose, to lead towards a kinky experience beyond having conversations about kink. I know that’s what I’m there for.

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Claire

Observations of people and life through an autistic lens.