‘they’ say you should write when you feel a thing, don’t wait. I’m not waiting.
I just said this sentence out loud as tears slowly emerged, pushed by a rising swelling in my chest. I don’t think these tears offer me a release, though objectively I know that is the theory, and it’s not a traumatic happening wracked with physicality and wretchedness, it’s just a great wave of gratitude for the people in my life but somehow tinged with sadness. These are not wholly happy tears.
Yesterday was a beautiful, emotional, (probably) pivotal day in my life and reflecting on it just now, unintentionally because I’m supposed to be writing reports for work, I was struck by love.
The Greeks have many words for love, I think this wave was Philia — deep friendship. Some of it Pragma — longstanding love. I don’t know why I want to clarify the type of love that I am feeling, but I have.
Yesterday was spent walking for hours in the sunshine around lush, tall, height-of-the-season greenery with a good friend. We haven’t done this before, they were guiding me, I was trusting them, we pushed ourselves, shared secrets, sorry tales of romance gone wrong, friendship gone right and pandemic frustrations. We both have a love of stories, the fiction kind, but we also both weave a good tale of real life experiences. I felt a deepening…
