If you make me learn how to live without you

2 min readApr 12, 2024

I’ll live without you.

Photo by Lisa Fotios: https://www.pexels.com/photo/foamy-sea-waving-near-entrance-of-beach-house-4511855/

I tell you over and over again how much I love you, how much I enjoy spending time with you, how grateful I am we found each other and can spend endless, lovely, easy hours together. It’s beautiful to hear you say those same things back. To feel the ease, warmth and joy.

Things will inevitably change, there will be other life to live, we’ll spend more time apart, we’ll have other friends, activities and trips to go on, sometimes with each other, sometimes not.

I’m going to miss you more than you miss me ‘coz I have less people in my life. Less capability for meeting and connecting with people. I’m the introvert that your extroverted self adopted. That’s fine. We know this. I know this. I will communicate clearly to you my needs, I hope you do the same back.

If you leave me alone too long though, I forget how to connect to you.

My connection ‘apparatus’ will become rusty, receptors covered over so they need a bit of effort to be available again.

I told you about this. I explained my fear that if we go too long without contact it will get harder and harder to connect. I don’t want it to be hard. I wish I could maintain like I see so many other people manage. I try and fool myself into thinking my intention is strong…




Observations of people and life through an autistic lens.