@raisingboys_2men asked this of his sons. They both wanted more one on one time with him.
Have you ever asked this question?
Have you ever been asked this question?
If you did ask the question are you prepared for any answer?
If you were asked the question did you answer honestly?
This reel on Instagram had me crying hard. It’s a simple question. The answer was pretty simple too. But we don’t ask this and we certainly don’t get to ask for what we need. Not often. Not for the majority.
In the last few years as I’ve grown into myself, connected to my emotions and feelings, and learned what I need, want and deserve, my relationships have become the type that promotes this sort of enquiry and welcomes requests. Still, this question hasn’t been asked all that much. Before these last few years? I don’t recall it ever having been asked.
A powerful message can be conveyed within those words — What more do you need from me?
aka: I care about you and want to make sure you have everything you need. I am curious about what life is like for you. I am curious about what life with me is like for you. I want to know what makes you happy and if I can, I would like to be a part of that. I am aware that I don’t always get things right so I want to communicate to you now that I know this and that I am open to hear any critique you have. I am not going to be defensive, I want to hear you. I am interested in you. I care about you. I love you.
I cried because of the grief released - I hadn’t received that as a child.
I cried because of the wonder of seeing this being played out in front of me, a request being made, received and accepted.
I cried because this was a man asking his sons.
I cried because I want it too.
I cried because of its beautiful simplicity. And its power.
Our fear of the pain that might result from a denied request made from authentic communication in a vulnerable state can keep us stuck, misunderstood, lonely…