The longing to return to a home that doesn’t exist

1 min readMar 15, 2024

Archetype of home

Photo by Ricky Esquivel:

When you make a change and life feels hard, insurmountable challenges pile up, you start to realise this is feeling too much and maybe you shouldn’t have done it and you maybe need to accept defeat.

To go back to where it was easy and comfortable. Before you made the change.

As an adult striding out on your own; home; job; relationship; community groups; endless commitments and the cult of ‘busyness’.

Best to go back to where you came from, where it was familiar and safe, comfortable, easy, you belong.

But it wasn’t easy or comfortable, that’s why you left. It was time for new. Time for growth. Time for next.

But it’s hard here too. Maybe the old hard is easier than this hard?


But there’s no going back.

That home doesn’t exist. Probably never did. Our memory is inaccurate.

Respect the longing, don’t bury it. But know you can’t go back.

Soothe yourself. Be kind. Slow down if necessary.




Observations of people and life through an autistic lens.