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Therapist returns to therapy
I thought this would be an interesting record for me as I move through this latest chapter of therapy — my fourth chapter since training to be a psychotherapist over ten years ago — plus an insightful look for curious outsiders
My reflections from therapy.
Chapters
Chapter 1 — a year of not very effective person-centred therapy where I learned a lot about what doesn’t work for me in therapy.
Chapter 2 — two and a half-ish years of integrative therapy that was more effective and taught me some things I like and some things I don’t like from/in my therapy.
Chapter 3 — four weeks of EFT-assisted therapy that ended when it became clear my process was too slow for my therapist who admitted they have a “get on with it” process. Most unhelpful and quite damaging!
Christmas break
I’d had concerns about breaking over Christmas so much so that before we started working together I had asked if it was possible to delay until after Christmas. This was partly financially motivated but it did also have a basis in the way I build/maintain relationships.
My therapist did not want to do that and was confident we can work with whatever arises from having this break. It turned out to be only one session rather than my feared two, and whilst there was discomfort and a feeling of I-don’t-know-how-to-do-this at the start, we (I) quickly settled in assisted by a clear reflection that though I didn’t know what to bring, I was clear about that.
Constricting parts — restricting breathing
I’ve noticed occasional struggles with breathing. I wrote about it here when it happened for the second time in the woods. I concluded it was an anxiety process.
It increased in December enough that it felt like an ‘easy’ thing to bring when I remembered it at the start of the session.
I explained how it happened sometimes before bed; very clearly on my way to a New Year’s party; and yesterday before I went on a date with someone I’ve been out with before. Crucially, there being no material reason for the sensation and actually my breath flowed fine, it was…
